Top 11 Signs You Need to Lay Off the Highlands Romance

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1. You can properly pronounce “very”, “do”,  “don’t”, “know”, and “yes”. (*answers at bottom)

2. Your friends have issued a (grossly unjust, by the way) lifetime ban on your Scottish jokes (Can you help it if “Is that a cromach in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” just never gets old!!).

3. You know the difference between “plaid” and “tartan” and consider it a scared duty to correct any misinformed persons who cross your cyberpath.

4. You can’t recall when it happened, but “och” has become one of your go-to epithets.

5. You have tried to convince your eight year old that hammer throw and tossing the caber would make excellent birthday party games.

6. You have been accused of having narrow film tastes, but that is just not true. In point of fact, you enjoy a wide range of films, from the literary (Hamlet, Rob Roy, or Braveheart), to films about the British monarchy (Mrs. Brown, or Rob Roy, or Braveheart), to fantasy action adventure (Highlander, and also Rob Roy and Braveheart), suspense (Shallow Grave, but don’t forget Rob Roy, or Braveheart –they’re preety darn suspenseful), even musicals (Brigadoon, but you’d be remiss not to mention there’s a bit of singing in Rob Roy and Braveheart, too) and hard hitting dramatic films (Trainspotting, or, uh… anyone for Rob Roy, or maybe Braveheart? Anyone?).

7. You’ve developed a saying when shopping for romance books: “If the hero dons plaid, my purchase is made.”

8. You know that number seven rhymes.

9. Your daughter’s teacher has recently informed you that she checked with the school board, and there is, in fact, a limit on excused absences, even for attendance at “educational events” such as highland games and renaissance fairs.

10. When your beloved family pet dies, you consider replacing it with a falcon.

11. Ignoring your husband’s objection ( “But we’re Jewish!” ), you will choose either Ewan, Lachlain, or The Hawk for your first born son’s middle name (the first name will be Jamie. Duh.).

*Answers to 1: (verra, dae, doona, ken, and aye, of course).

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17 responses

  1. I lead a very sad, pathetic life.

    That is all.

    (Ewan, of course)

    (Speaking of Scotland, all of my heroes are “played” inside my head either by Ewan Magregor or Gerard Butler) (expect for Sebastian St VIncent who is blond and therefore I had to cast Josh Holloway for the role)


  2. My brother in law is Jamie, a red head and if you go back a couple of generations is Scottish, so if I had to choose a name it would be one of his others – Jamie Alexander Malcolm – or whatever they really are!

    Another good list!


  3. Ana — I also love Ewan MacGregor. I’ll even watch his boring motorcycle trips!

    Marg — Number 11 is actually the only autobiographical one on this list, and I did NOT win the argument!


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  6. omg. there was totally a Highlander marathon on the other day and i had to watch them all (much to the despair of my mother). *sigh* i love the name Jamie! omg! read “Thorn in My Heart” “Fair is the Rose” and “Whence Came a Prince”. totally best Scotland trilogy ever!


  7. @ Jessica:

    I can see the Bar Mitzvah invitations now. And, of course, the requisite Bar Mitzvah kilt




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